幾年前在信義誠品閒晃時,無意中翻閱起人類圖的書籍,當時一測便驚訝的發現,天哪也太準了吧!我知道我是有點奇怪(難搞),但沒想到是確實蠻奇怪(難搞)的。
身為世界人口佔比8%,能量場反抗又封閉的顯示者,我常常覺得自己好像格格不入。
看到解讀說顯示者不喜歡被管束,只要有人試圖想要制約顯示者,顯示者就會感到憤怒;以及,顯示者想要做什麼就做什麼的特質,可能會讓身邊的人常常覺得不知所措。這樣的個性或許真的會讓身旁的人感到困擾,但遲鈍如我,以前的我真的不明白是怎麼回事,以及為什麼自己會有這些反應,當然也因此吃過許多悶虧。看到人類圖的解讀後,才突然有「噹」一聲恍然大悟的感覺,開始接受自己的「原廠設定」,不論是好的或是不好的特質。
為什麼會想要參加人類圖的諮詢
雖然覺得人類圖蠻準的,但我從來沒有參加過諮詢。
這次的契機,始於我姊貼了一個Podcast的分享給我,這位Podcaster談到透過這段人類圖的諮詢,讓她進一步地了解到自己特性及擅長的事物,因此可以更好的放大自己的優勢,並且專心致志的朝自己得以充分發揮的領域邁進。
剛好最近的我又再度對人生感到有點迷惘,想一想也沒有損失,何不就試一試呢?況且我之前就覺得人類圖的確是蠻準確的。
於是,第一堂諮詢課就透過遠距抱抱開始了。
遠距抱抱是2019年成立的線上心理資源平台,成立理念在於,許多需要心理協助的使用者,可能因為狀態、距離或甚至心理障礙,對於踏進諮商所感到窒礙或成本較高,而透過線上諮詢平台的運作,這樣珍貴的資源可以被更多人廣泛的使用。也是多虧了遠距抱抱,讓身在新加坡的我也可以完成這樣遠距的諮詢。
(使用我的推薦碼,註冊遠距抱抱並完成首次諮詢,我們都可以獲得 NT$300的優惠。)
遠距抱抱人類圖諮詢課程
我參加的課程是陳怡如 (Amy Chen)教練的「透過人類圖找到你獨有的天賦優勢,實現理想職涯!」。
完整課程設計為兩堂課程,分別著重在於:
【第一堂】
1-1. 透過人類圖,找到你在職場生活中較容易感到辛苦的地方
1-2. 針對你的軟肋寫下具體的對策,轉化內在信念、重新出發
1-3. 回家作業:「人類圖自我檢視」學習單
【第二堂】
2-1. 從人類圖看出適合你的發展路線
2-2. 針對適合你的發展路線,找出可能會遇到的阻礙以及潛藏的天賦
第一堂,Amy教練會進行人類圖的大致解說,並針對個人的人類圖類型、通道及能量中心等進行初步的的介紹與解說。
第二堂,會針對人生角色、輪迴交叉、爻、珍珠序列等內容進一步的解說。這部分是我之前看書比較少接觸到的,就算看了也覺得有看沒有懂,所以透過Amy教練的解說,讓我有比較容易進入狀況。
透過諮詢,我的自我覺察
透過諮詢,我有了什麼樣不同的想法及收穫呢?
我覺得最大的幫助在於,讓我更確信自己是什麼樣的人,擁有什麼樣的特質,未來的我可能可以考慮往哪個方向前進,以及最重要的,了解自己不完美的地方。
經過一點時間的沈澱,列出最近讓我比較有感觸的幾點:
- 較佳的抗壓能力:顯示者的根部中心是有顏色,代表具有較佳的抗壓能力。Amy教練有提到,就算在高壓或緊急的deadline下,我也可以按部就班、情緒穩定的將工作順利完成。
剛好最近工作真的忙到一刻不得閒,上週當我焦頭爛額在處理工作時,突然又有其他的任務插進來,當下真的有被淹沒的感覺,也覺得好委屈怎麼都做不完,頓時有點想哭的感覺,但是不知道為什麼就突然想起Amy教練的話:「我是有能力在壓力下,好好完成我的工作的」。當時我也很訝異腦袋怎麼會自己跳出這條訊息,但是又有點感覺慰藉,於是幾個深呼吸,調適好心情,繼續重新回到工作上。因為我知道就算工作排山倒海而來,我也有能力可以將它妥善完成。 - 缺乏持續工作的電力:顯示者的薦骨中心沒有顏色,因此無法像生產者一樣,穩定且有能量地持續輸出工作,或是不知道何時該適可而止,讓自己過度工作或承諾,若沒有找到適合自己的工作模式,可能會因體力透支而累垮。Amy教練提到,顯示者的工作時間可能建議會是生產者的一半,但也不代表這樣就是不工作的意思,而是應該要去找到適合自己的方式,才能讓自己維持在平衡的狀態。
的確最近讓我感到心累的一點,是覺得新加坡的大家都好拼(新加坡出了名的「怕輸」精神),時不時在凌晨五點或是將近半夜十二點還會收到email,假日就更不用說了。論體力或對工作的動力,顯示者可能真的大不如生產者,這常常會讓我覺得自己是不是太草莓了,並陷入自我懷疑及自我檢討的狀態。看到我們忙碌且連休假都沒辦法好好休的CIO,我不確定若繼續朝著職涯發展的道路前進,這樣的生活型態,真的會是未來的我想要的嗎? - 掌控事物的安全感:21-45金錢通道,習慣安排或控制事物,希望對自己的世界握有主導權,核心概念是用錢滾錢的方式去累積自己的財富,因為太了解沒有錢就沒有自由。對擁有21-45通道的人來說,成功就是能夠在物質層面,掌控自己所擁有的資源,像是為誰工作及如何謀生等,不喜歡透過別人告知該怎麼做,或是被監督的感覺。
又是一條讓我覺得自己怎麼那麼惱人的通道,在能力還不足,無法對生活握有主導權之前,都會覺得事與願違,內心充滿了各種矛盾。這也可以解釋為什麼之前這麼想來新加坡的原因,當時台灣的工作,讓我覺得若是繼續這樣下去,未來的道路可能會越走越窄(因為台灣法令不支持,所以沒有相應的企業在台灣設點,想要換工作又沒有其他的工作機會,在現職待到退休也讓我感到害怕,或是現在的公司根本撐不到我退休?),種種對生活的不安全感,讓我有種背水一戰,想要飛到新加坡闖闖的念頭。我希望我的未來,能夠充滿各種選擇性及餘裕,我不喜歡被動等待,或我的生活必須掌握在別人手裡。因此儘管之前的工作在很多人眼裡是相當理想的工作,幾乎準時上下班,薪水也不錯,同事也都專業大家相處融洽,但我還是放著這種日子不過,非得要跑到新加坡重新開始(什麼勞碌命通道)。
尷尬的是,現在的我又有點陷入類似但不同的困境,這個故事可以之後再分享,但總歸就是,在還沒有找到讓自己認為安穩舒心的生活方式前,好像都會一直有這樣的困惑及掙扎。 - 追求完美及自我批判:18-58 批判通道,善於找出錯誤,同時提供評論與判斷,努力找到解決問題的方法,希望不好的事物可以改善,而好的東西還可以更好。
Amy教練提醒,這條通道若是用在對大眾有益的事情上,使得人人皆可受益,將使得大家皆大歡喜;但是若用在自己身上,就有可能陷入內耗而不自知。我才發現我的確蠻容易進入自我反省模式,常常覺得自己還不夠好,還需要再加倍努力,結果造成自己壓力很大卻沒有覺察。現在的我知道要特別注意自己的這個傾向。
諮詢解決解決得了我的迷惘嗎?
我的感受是,諮詢不會立刻馬上就解決眼前的問題。但是「覺察是改變的開始」,當你開始更清楚自己是什麼樣的人,想往哪個方向走,或許改變就已經慢慢的開始了。
在諮詢過後,需要自己去反覆地思索及挖掘,有時候或許當下不了解是什麼意思,但是在無意中聽到了某句話,讀到了某本書,可能會突然「aha moment」降臨,然後心中的疑惑就此得到解答也說不定。教練的幫助是起到了一個引導的作用,但最了解自己的終究還是自己,還是得回到內心,好好的與自己對話,並花點時間與自己相處。
可能暫時的我還不知道下一步明確的方向,但至少我了解自己具備了哪些裝備及武器,知道在接下來的旅程中,如何針對不同的狀況,祭出不一樣的對策,並且刪去我不青睞及不擅長的選項。比起之前恍如在迷霧中隨機行走,現在的狀態可能稍微清晰多了,也可能可以從一個比較大的格局來看自己,不再糾結一些瑣碎的細節。
結語
當你了解自己時,你就會獲得力量;當你接受自己時,你便立於不敗之地。
人生實在是一個沒有明確答案的謎題,需要用一輩子去探索,惟有在最後蓋棺論定的時候,可能你的墓誌銘才會為你的一生下一個概括的解論。行文至此,突然讓我想起創投基金教父——Sir Ronald Cohen在他書中“Impact”的一段話:「我不想讓別人讀到我的墓誌銘:『他的投資年化報酬率為30%』——我一直都知道,生活應該有更遠大的目標。」
(Sir Ronald Cohen在成為創投基金教父之後,轉而從事影響力投資的領域,讓投資不再只是追求年化報酬率,慈善機構也不是註定要靠人捐款才能運作,而是該慈善事物本身,就擁有自給自足的營運及獲利能力,讓影響力能夠生生不息的繼續下去。)
我現在明白,迷惘可能也是種人生的本質,每個人在不同的階段,或多或少都會有當時的煩惱及迷惘。似乎不用去排斥或太過讓自己淹沒在這樣的情緒中。把我的探索也紀錄在這裡,希望可以給同樣感到迷惘的你作為參考。
願我們都可以在人生的迷霧中,稍微理出自己的頭緒,找到適合我們自己及理想的生活方式。
A few years ago, while leisurely wandering around the Eslite Bookstore in Xinyi, I stumbled upon a book on Human Design. Out of curiosity, I took a test and was stunned by how accurate it was. I knew I was a bit quirky (hard to please?), but I hadn’t realised just how much this was part of my nature.
As a Manifestor, making up only 8% of the global population, with a rebellious and closed-off aura, I often feel like I don’t quite fit in.
The reading revealed that Manifestors dislike being controlled. The moment someone tries to impose limits on them, anger arises. Moreover, our tendency to follow our own path can leave those around us confused and unsure. I can see how this might be frustrating for others, but in my oblivion, I never understood what was going on or why I reacted the way I did. Naturally, this led to many challenges. It wasn’t until I read more about Human Design that it all suddenly clicked, like a lightbulb moment. I began to accept my “factory settings”, embracing both the positive and less favourable traits.
Despite being intrigued by Human Design for some time, I had never actually undergone a consultation. The impetus for this decision came when my sister shared a podcast with me. The podcaster spoke about how the consultation helped her to understand her unique traits and strengths, allowing her to amplify her advantages and focus intently on her true path.
Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit lost in life again, and I thought, why not give it a try? After all, I’ve always felt that Human Design holds some truth.
And so, my first session commenced through FarHugs, a remote online consultation platform that was established in 2019. The platform’s mission is to make psychological support more accessible to those who might face challenges such as distance, mental barriers, or the high cost of traditional therapy. FarHugs enables people like me, living in Singapore, to benefit from these consultations remotely. (The consultation is mainly conducted in Mandarin, please feel free to share with me if you know of any similar platform in English)
(Use my referral code to sign up for Hugspace, and upon completing your first consultation, both of us will receive a NT$300 discount.)
FarHugs Human Design Course
Coach Amy Chen led the course I attended, titled “Discover Your Unique Talents and Realise Your Ideal Career Through Human Design.” The complete programme consists of two sessions, each focusing on:
【Session 1】
1-1. Identifying areas in your professional life where you tend to struggle, using Human Design as a guide.
1-2. Crafting concrete strategies to transform limiting beliefs and start afresh.
1-3. Homework: Self-reflection worksheet through Human Design.
【Session 2】
2-1. Mapping out the development paths that align with your design.
2-2. Pinpointing potential obstacles and latent talents within those paths.
In the first session, Coach Amy provided an overview of Human Design and introduced key elements of my chart, including type, channels, and energy centres. In the second session, we delved deeper into more advanced aspects, such as the life roles, incarnation cross, lines, and pearl sequence. These were topics I had encountered briefly in books but never fully understood until Amy’s explanations made it all click.
How did the consultation enhance my self-awareness?
What did I gain from the consultation? Most notably, I feel a stronger sense of confidence in who I am, the traits I possess, and the potential directions I could explore in the future. But perhaps most importantly, I’ve come to understand my imperfections.
After some reflection, here are a few insights that resonated with me recently:
- Greater resilience under pressure:
Manifestors have a defined root centre, indicating stronger stress tolerance. Amy mentioned that even under intense deadlines, I can remain composed and get things done effectively.
This insight came at just the right time. Work has been overwhelming lately. Last week, amidst the chaos, additional tasks were suddenly thrust upon me. For a moment, I felt submerged and was on the verge of tears. Then, Amy’s words surfaced in my mind: “You have the capacity to complete your tasks under pressure.” It surprised me that this message appeared so clearly in my head, but it was oddly comforting. I took a few deep breaths, regained my composure, and got back to work. Even when work feels like a never-ending flood, I now know that I have the strength to manage it. - Lack of sustained energy for continuous work:
As a Manifestor, I have an undefined sacral centre, which means I don’t have the same consistent energy for work as Generators do. Without recognising when to stop, I might push myself too hard, which could lead to burnout. Amy advised that my working hours should ideally be half that of a Generator’s, but this doesn’t imply a lack of productivity. Instead, it means finding a work style that maintains balance.
Lately, I’ve felt drained by Singapore’s relentless “kiasu” feature. Emails flood in at 5 a.m. or just before midnight, and weekends aren’t spared either. It often makes me question whether I’m too ‘fragile’, leading to self-doubt. Observing my CIO, who is perpetually on the go, I can’t help but wonder if the career path I’m on will lead to the lifestyle I truly desire. - The need for control and security:
With the 21-45 money channel, I have a deep-seated need to control my environment, aiming to accumulate wealth through careful resource management. Success, to me, means having autonomy over my work and how I earn a living. I detest being told what to do or being micromanaged.
This channel explains why I felt the strong urge to move to Singapore in the first place. The limitations of my job in Taiwan made me feel that my future would only narrow if I stayed. There was also the fear that my current company might not even last until my retirement. These uncertainties led me to take a leap of faith and venture into Singapore. I dream of a future filled with options and freedom, rather than waiting passively for things to happen.
Ironically, I now find myself in a somewhat similar, yet distinct predicament. I’ll share this story another time, but in essence, it seems that until I discover a lifestyle that brings me true comfort and stability, these feelings of confusion and inner conflict will persist. - The pursuit of perfection and self-criticism:
With the 18-58 judgment channel, I excel at identifying flaws and providing solutions, hoping to make improvements. While this quality can benefit the larger community, if turned inward, it can lead to self-criticism and burnout. Amy reminded me to be cautious of this tendency.
I’ve realised I often fall into the trap of feeling that I’m never good enough, constantly striving for improvement. Now, I’m more aware of this inclination and know to guard against it.
Can consultations resolve all my confusion?
In my experience, consultations don’t instantly solve the issues at hand. But “awareness is the first step towards change.” Once you understand who you are and where you want to go, perhaps change is already underway.
The real work begins after the consultation, through ongoing reflection and self-exploration. Sometimes, clarity doesn’t come immediately, but an “aha moment” may arrive unexpectedly through a phrase you hear or a book you read. While a coach can guide you, the journey of understanding oneself ultimately rests with you. It requires time, patience, and self-connection.
Though I might not yet know my next step with certainty, I now have a better grasp of my strengths and tools, enabling me to tackle various situations and eliminate options that don’t align with my interests and abilities. Compared to my previous state of wandering aimlessly through the fog, things are a bit clearer now. I can see myself from a broader perspective and am less caught up in the small, insignificant details.
Conclusion
When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible.
Life is a puzzle without clear answers, one that we spend our entire existence trying to solve. It is only in the end, at the moment of final rest, that our epitaph might offer a fitting conclusion to our journey.
This reminds me of something Sir Ronald Cohen, the father of venture capital, once wrote in his book Impact:
“I don’t want my epitaph to read, ‘His annualised return on investment was 30%’—I always knew that life had greater purpose.”
(Sir Ronald Cohen transitioned from being a venture capital titan to pioneering impact investing, where investments are driven not only by financial returns but also by the ability to create sustainable, positive change.)
I now understand that confusion is an inherent part of life. Each of us, at various stages, will encounter our share of worries and uncertainties. Perhaps it’s unnecessary to resist or allow ourselves to be completely overwhelmed by these emotions.
By documenting my journey here, I hope it offers some guidance to anyone feeling similarly lost. May we all find our way through the fog, and discover a way of life that truly suits us.
3 comments
或許真的人生會迷惘才是正常的吧…
我也是顯示者,常常也會覺得很困惑,不知道自己的天賦『發起』到底是要做什麼?
Same here! It’s so confusing and feels overwhelming sometimes. I wish someone could just give me a direct and straightforward answer.